I’m going to go straight in with some honesty here – I’ve never been one for dating. Even back before the husband was on the scene, I’d just say to my partners “I’m just getting on with my life, you coming?”
But now that I have been married for nearly 6 years and with the husband for 13 years this year, I’m thinking more and more about dating. WITH HIM! I’ll let him stay.
Why is dating important?
I didn’t use to think much of getting dressed up and being on my best behaviour while I ate some food, but with two kids on the scene that sounds like a luxury.
So much of our lives is taken up with looking after our family life that our relationship as a couple, sort of gets ignored. And it is a real shame!
We used to do so much stuff together that we both enjoyed. I mean that is why we decided to stick with each other for the long term. But now some of that has been neglected. Thanks, kids!
Having interests and time together as a couple is super important. It doesn’t matter whether you have just picked them up on a free dating website or you’ve been together 13 years, you have to make time for each other.
What’s my resolution for 2020?
Given that I’ve decided to keep the husband around at least a little while longer and not stick him on matchmehappy, then I’ll be looking to do some of the things that we used to enjoy together.
Finding time without the kids is going to be the first hurdle though. Might have to call in a few favours from friends and family to make it happen. But I am going to be more proactive in asking for support. That’s step one.
Step two is recognising that we are not young 20-somethings any more, so literally doing the things that we used to do a decade ago is no longer our idea of fun. Similar, yes! Same, no!
The final part is actually committing to being present in the moment. This can be so hard especially when we are constantly worrying about family life and our next big adventure.
Being open and honest within our marriage is important too. Using our dates to talk about our current interests and important stuff that is going on in our lives outside of the family home is important to me.
Do you have any dating resolutions?
I actually think mine is pretty soppy and quite out of character for me. Therefore, you might be having a secret giggle and thinking “yeah, I’m not doing that!”
Your dating resolution could be something like trying to have more fun, or if you are single, not settling for dates with any old person you find online. Set those stands high, eh?
Whatever you decide having a clearly defined goals means that you are more likely to achieve it. So, set it and get to work putting into action. You’ll be amazed at what you might achieve.